Season 1 Rewind, Part 2: Home and Memory

In this special Season One Rewind episode, Lyssia revisits some of the most memorable conversations from Room to Think to explore the connection between home, memory, and identity. Featuring Juhani Pallasmaa, Shavonda Gardner, Amber Dunford, Adam Trest, Miriam Carpenter, Maggie Wilkerson, Emily Campbell, and Dr. Esther Sternberg, this episode looks at why certain places, objects, materials, and rituals stay with us long after childhood—and how they continue shaping the homes we create as adults.

Juhani Pallasmaa reflects on the childhood experiences that shaped his philosophy of architecture and why home exists not only physically, but through memory, imagination, and feeling. He shares the powerful memory of seeing the light of his childhood home through a dark forest and feeling safe before he had even reached the door.

Shavonda Gardner remembers her grandmother’s small Louisiana home, a place that felt enormous because of the love, family, and life that filled it. That experience continues to influence how she designs today, beginning with how a space should feel rather than simply how it should look. Amber Dunford takes that idea further, explaining how childhood spaces can become emotional anchors and how listeners can begin noticing the environments that make them feel calm, comfortable, energized, or unsettled.

Adam Trest shares how seeing foxes behind his childhood home became a family symbol that he now carries into his own home through art and wallpaper. Miriam Carpenter traces her connection to wood back to the enormous oak tree outside her childhood window and early memories of her grandfather’s workshop.

Maggie Wilkerson explores why hand-me-down furniture, vintage pieces, and objects with a past can make a home feel deeply personal. She shares the story of finding a wrought-iron bench in Mexico and learning its history directly from the family who had owned it, showing how an object can carry one family’s story into another.

Emily Campbell explains why she asks clients to think about their favorite place on earth and the feeling they associate with it, rather than beginning with an aesthetic. For her, that place is a family cabin in northern Michigan that represents connection, joy, ease, and a slower pace of life.

Dr. Esther Sternberg closes the episode by reflecting on why a village in Crete felt instantly familiar to her. The food, accents, community, nature, and rhythms of daily life reminded her of the way she had been raised, revealing how a place can feel like home because it echoes something already stored in our memory.

Across these conversations, one idea keeps returning: home is rarely just about design. It is about safety, belonging, familiarity, connection, and the experiences we carry with us.

Our homes do not simply hold our memories. Our memories help build our homes.

More Room to Think:

Juhani Pallasmaa — Architecture Beyond the Eyes
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/architecture-beyond-the-eyes

Shavonda Gardner — Space Beyond Square Footage
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/space-beyond-square-footage

Amber Dunford — How Childhood Designs Your Home
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/how-childhood-designs-your-home

Adam Trest — Foxes, Folk Art, and the Feel of Home
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/foxes-folk-art-and-the-feel-of-home

Miriam Carpenter — The Emotional Life of Wood
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/the-emotional-life-of-wood

Maggie Wilkerson — The Art of a Collected Home
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/the-art-of-a-collected-home

Emily Campbell — A Home That Feels Like You
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/a-home-that-feels-like-you

Dr. Esther Sternberg — The Spaces That Heal Us
https://roomtothinkpodcast.com/episodes/the-spaces-that-heal-us

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Transcript

Scent, Memory, And Instant Time Travel

Amber Dunford 0:00

Our memories get stored in the same location as scent gets processed. And so when we smell something, we can immediately be taken back to a time in our life.

Shavonda Gardner 0:11

It was just a very humble home and it just felt like a mansion.

Juhani Pallasmaa 0:17

A home is not a functional, practical thing. It is a mental.

Lyssia Katan 0:26

What makes a house actually feel like a home? It's usually not what you think. Welcome

Favorite Season One Moments

Lyssia Katan 0:32

to Room to Think. We're in between seasons right now. So this week I'm taking you back through some of my favorite moments of season one. This one's all about memory and the way our homes hold our childhoods and who we are. Let's get into it.

A Grandfather’s Farm And Curiosity

Lyssia Katan 0:45

I would love to ask you if there's a space from your childhood that really impacted you and brought you into the you spoke about your grandfather's farm, perhaps that's it. I would love to hear more about what impacted you and brought you to become the architect that you are today.

Juhani Pallasmaa 1:03

I lived uh at my grandfather's small farm during the war years. And uh at the wartime the adults were always busy, and uh children were left by themselves, and I'm very grateful for those almost five years that I was left alone to study the world without anyone uh uh creating confusions to my developing understanding. Uh and uh I would uh say that my attitudes in my all my writings and teaching uh come from those uh early early years uh which which is uh as as you might know uh my background uh philosophical background in uh uh writing about architecture is phenomenology. And I have often said that I I have been a phenomenologist since my childhood because I began to observe the world, particularly uh plants and animals uh in my childhood. And it is this uh curiosity that uh still drives me. I will soon be ninety, but uh I'm still writing every day.

Teaching Design Through Childhood Memories

Lyssia Katan 2:33

How do you go about teaching students who they are rather than novelty?

Juhani Pallasmaa 2:37

My uh uh first exercises or exercises during the first year have always been uh engaged in uh the students' memories childhood memories. Uh I have myself uh as I mentioned uh earlier uh been rather uh interested in my own childhood and what I uh experienced and whatnot. In at the wartime in the uh in a small farmhouse there was only one one book, the Bible. But uh I had a much larger book, and that was nature around the farm farmhouse and everything uh that happened there, and every day, every moment moment, something new. So there are ways of learning other love ways of learning than just reading or or not to speak of uh being engaged in what is new. I think that is uh a rather uh trivial question uh in relation to what is the continuum of life, what is the continuum of history, what is the continuum of human reality. So there are more significant questions than than novel. What I mean is that a good architect architecture architectural place uh gives us a home in very many levels and senses at the same time physically to our senses but also mentally to our memories, uh imaginatively to our dreams. Uh

Home As A Mental Experience

Juhani Pallasmaa 4:37

home is not a functional practical thing. It is a mental mental thing. Experience of home is recognizing a dialogue between the world and yourself and feeling comfortable about it.

The Light In The Window

Lyssia Katan 4:59

You also mentioned the feeling of home being uh something you recall from your childhood, going back from a distance coming back from skiing and seeing the light inside the house covered in snow.

Juhani Pallasmaa 5:12

That is an example of uh the immaterial qualities uh in uh homes. When I lived at m uh the countryside uh during the war years, I often in the winter time returned back home uh late at night when it was already quite dark through the forest and it was also getting cold. And then when I saw uh the light in the window of the house through the forest, maybe uh half a kilometer away, uh I was already saved. Uh that image of uh of the light already over my entire being. These are things that are emotionally and experien experientially true, and they are very important.

Lyssia Katan 6:05

Was

A Humble House That Felt Huge

Lyssia Katan 6:06

there a small space that inspired you to embark on this journey?

Shavonda Gardner 6:10

I was very inspired by my grandmother's house, by my own personal experience um in my, you know, growing up and spending a lot of time in my grandmother's house in Louisiana. And it was just a very humble home. Um, and it just felt like a mansion. I mean, obviously, you know, when you're little, like your perception of space and size and things are like way off. But I just always had so many fond memories of that home. And like I said, it's quite humble. It's not big at all. Um, but it was where she raised, you know, my dad and my uncle and my aunt, her grandchildren, you know, family, friends, and all of this life happened and all of these memories happen in this small home. And um, it is the home that she lived in up until, you know, her death. And I just remember that feeling. And I remember thinking, I want my children, I want my friends, and I want my family to feel

Designing For Feeling Over Looks

Shavonda Gardner 7:24

that.

Lyssia Katan 7:24

You've said in your videos that's the first place you felt loved. How do you recreate that in your own home?

Shavonda Gardner 7:31

The way that I recreate that is always to lead with how I want something to feel and less about how I not less about how I want it to look. Let's be real. I want things to look very beautiful as a designer. But I think more than anything, I lead with what do I want this space to feel like? How do I want people to feel in it? And how does this space need to serve us? And that's really how I go about the design process for my own personal home. It's how I go about the design process when I work with clients. That's the number one thing is how does this space need to feel? How does this space need to make you feel? And how does this space uh need to greet you? What do you need from it? And I think when we start there, we kind of can filter out a lot of fluff and a lot of things that won't end up serving you in the end.

The Kitchen Table As The Heart

Lyssia Katan 8:30

Your spaces, they feel very personal and collected over time. Is there something in your home that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else but means everything to you?

Shavonda Gardner 8:41

Here's what I'll do. I will go with a big design decision and not necessarily like a material thing. Um, I think the a big design decision that we made in our home that most people probably would not have made, and it probably won't make sense for a lot of people, but it made absolutely all the sense in the world to me and to how our family lives. And that is we got rid of our dining, quote unquote dining room. I mean, we never really had a dining room, let's be honest, because cottage bungalow. But we but we like got rid of what is technically a dining space um when we did our kitchen renovation, and we actually opted to forego like a kitchen island and we put our dining room table in the middle of our kitchen. And again, that's not necessarily um, it's not like this new theory. Like it's I didn't reinvent the wheel here, but it's certainly not something that most people would have done. I think people um feel like everything, like the space that says that the space is, right? The floor plan says this is a dining room, so I have to use it as a dining room. The floor plan says this is a bedroom, so I have to use it as a bedroom. Um, I think most people would not have made that decision, but it made the most sense for our family at the time, for our home, for the way we live in the home. And again, very inspired by my grandmother's kitchen, who always had a table in the middle of her little tiny kitchen. And that is where we had all of our meals growing up my whole entire life. And so I never thought about gosh, why is there a table in the middle of the kitchen? It's already so small, it's already so cramped. I never thought that ever. I just remember feeling so close and so loved and um, you know, it feeling quite efficient, if I'm being honest. Um and so I'd say that's probably a decision that we made that it wouldn't make sense for most people, uh, but it made all the sense in the world to me and to us.

Designing Safety Through Old Rituals

Lyssia Katan 11:06

Have you like can I hear about like any particular experiences you've had with clients? They're like, well, I really love the ways growing up, or I hated the forest, or ways that you incorporated or chose not to.

Amber Dunford 11:19

Yeah, there's there's one that stands out as a like very like tender moment with someone that I did design work for. And um she had how do I want to say this? It was she didn't have a lot of safe spaces in her home. And so for her, um, there were certain things that resonated for her as like these were my anchors of safety. And it was like a grandmother's house and you know, certain things in a bedroom. And so without like exposing that too much, uh, they she let me know what were some of the things present in that space and what were some of the traditions and like sort of the little rituals that like were comforting and um and soothing to her. And so once we knew that, then it was like, okay, so the kitchen is a very meaningful place for you in your home and seating in there where you were a little girl sitting on the counter while your grandmother cooked for you, like that is what you how you felt safe. And so we need to incorporate some of those same feelings. And so there was like nods to her grandmother's kitchen, um, but also making sure there was like ample seating for people so that they could now, she could be the adult, sort of facilitating that for people um who are coming to see her.

How To Audit Your Own Spaces

Lyssia Katan 12:42

How can a listener take that as an example in their own home and say, okay, like can they do an audit of their kitchen, their bedroom? How do you recommend people actually use that information in their real life?

Amber Dunford 12:55

I think first just taking note of the spaces that you feel good in, sort of the highs and the lows, and and taking note of the surroundings. So if you find that there is this, you know, restaurant that you're like, I feel so good every time I'm there, like start looking around and taking a little inventory of what is it that you really feel drawn to. I think so often we're like all these things are unconscious. We just feel them and move through our day, but we don't like clock them in a way of like, you know what it is? I love that they have this big drumshade over the table. And that makes me feel sort of contained. And um, or I love that they have like wood on the walls or something so warm about that. But you just feel it without sometimes like taking note of it. And so that's probably the first thing I would do is like start taking note of even in your own home, areas of your own home where you feel best in and start getting curious about why it is, or conversely, like every time I walk into this room, I feel tired or I feel depressed, or I feel unmotivated and thinking like, okay, what is it? What are the factors in this room? What are the elements that could be contributing to that? Is it just merely like I'm bogged down and I need like some organization? And I've just this visual clutter is like wearing me down, or so um, those are just some easy ways if you're not working with someone directly that I think they could start um kind of feeling into that.

The Fox As A Family Story

Lyssia Katan 14:25

Are there things besides for you know, things that you're actively aware of from your childhood that come out in your art today? I know the story about the fox. I listened to an interview you did about foxes. I would love for our listeners to hear it as well.

Adam Trest 14:40

We had foxes that lived behind our house. And if you ever saw the fox, it was like this this like magical creature had crossed your path. And so we would be like, man, we saw the fox today. It's gonna be a great day today. And that became like this sort of um mantra that we had was like if you saw this magical orange flash across the driveway, it was just gonna be a really good day. Well, you know, life happens. We went, you know, we don't live in that little house anymore. And um, I'm you know, through with college and married, and we live in the heart of town. Like there's no foxes in our yard. And so we but we live with that idea that um if you see a fox, it's gonna be a great day. So Lily, my wife and I, we collect foxes in artwork. And so we have um some wallpaper I designed in our foyer, and it has foxes in it. And uh, there's this giant wood block print of a fox by one of my favorite artists, Kent Ambler. Um, and it's over our sofa. And like, you know, we stick these moments of foxes around because we want our kids to know like part of having a great day is a choice, right? And so it becomes not like um I want foxes because they're like perfectly designed. It becomes I love foxes because of the story that I carry with me from my childhood, that now I get to help like give that to my kids and and the people that come into our home, they see that and understand that.

Lyssia Katan 16:04

What

Wood, Trees, And Home Base

Lyssia Katan 16:05

was it about wood that really drew you to working with it?

Miriam Carpenter 16:08

When I was growing up, I had a window with a large oak tree outside, and we had a flood lamp in the backyard that would always light the tree up at night. So I'd see it in the, you know, and it was the central part of the yard for tag. It was home base, you know, it was all of these things. Um, it was way too big to climb, although I did I did try, but you know, you'd get a couple feet off and that's it. Um so I think that probably had an impact on me, not you know, subconsciously, um, because it was an anchor in my life. Um, and I used to pretend that it was the you know, the grandfather tree of the whole neighborhood and look up as I'm walking home from school. Oh, there's there's my tree, there's my home base. Um there he is. Um and uh, but I was lucky enough to go to a um, well, my grandfather carved signs, so I also got an experience. He had a smokehouse um and uh smoked meats and cheeses, and I love cheese probably as much as I love wood. Um both of those wonderful things with visiting Grandpa Carpenter. Um, so I was exposed to a wood shop um early on.

Lyssia Katan 17:35

Was there a space in your life where you really felt a feeling when you walked in?

Maggie Wilkerson 17:42

I think a lot of the homes of family members that I grew up with, um, those are are some of the homes where, you know, they've collected things over the years. We have, we're very much a family that has hand-me-down furniture. Um, a lot of the furniture of my home came from my grandparents and and other family members, and and I cherish all of those pieces so much. Um, but it's this idea of building this collection over time and the patina and the age and the history and the stories that go along with all of these pieces. So I think about my grandparents' homes and none of them had had very much money. All of these pieces were from auctions and, you know, picked up on the side of the road. And um, you know, I think that's just what makes it even more special is that it what they created was um such a reflection and representation of their lives and different stages of their lives all coming together.

Vintage Finds And The Power Of Provenance

Lyssia Katan 18:41

Very often people are scared of that or they don't want that or don't see the beauty in it, but it it speaks to you.

Maggie Wilkerson 18:47

The best thing when you find a piece of vintage or antique furniture is buying it from the original owners or the children of the original owners. Um, this is like the ultimate for an antique and vintage thrifting. Um I'll use the word junkie here. The the ultimate is when you can hear the story firsthand. Finding little things like that are so great. I found notes in some of the furniture that I bought too, like hidden behind a drawer. So great. But um one of the most recent things that I thrift thrifted is not the right word here because I found it on Facebook Marketplace. Um, but I was shopping on Facebook Marketplace in Mexico for um the home that we're restoring there. And I always like to, when I'm there, I like to see what's available and you know what people are getting rid of. And I found this incredible wrought iron bench, and it was huge, and it had layers of paint on it. It was all chippy and just incredible. And as I was scrolling these through these pictures, I see on the end of the bench initials, letters, and they were made out of the iron and incorporated into the design. And I thought, you know what, that is so cool. You know, there's a story there. Um and I think it was my husband who was there with me. And so we Ubered across town and met the owners of this house that they were selling. Um, and we had the opportunity to hang out with them for a little while, waiting for someone to come help us get this bench back to our house. It was huge. But we got to learn the whole story of their parents and how they had this bench made for them. And it was their initials, um, their two last names together on the end of this bench. And it was so special. Their parents had passed away and they were selling their home. Um, but it was so special to be able to hear that story from them, to learn about the people who had this custom made for their home. And, you know, it was just so personal. And then to be able to also tell these children, the children of the parents, that this bench was going to a home that was going to cherish it and you know, love it so much and do it justice and um repaint it a beautiful color and you know, really have it be a part of our story now. Um that's just the ultimate when you get the story as opposed to finding on the side of the road or at a thrift store, when you get the story from the people who owned it, that is just it just makes it that much more special and unique and You know, I'm going to tell that story to every single person who comes over to my house and asks about my bench too. So it's um, you just, you're never gonna get that with new furniture. You say that you start with a feeling. What does that look like?

Starting With A Place You Miss

Emily Campbell 22:12

I like to ask clients all sorts of questions about like what is their favorite place on earth? Like, where do they, if they could just, you know, teleport to wherever they want to go, what would that place be? And I know the answer for me is the cabin that I grew up going to as a young child in northern Michigan. And it is not fancy, but it is in a small little town with one flashing yellow light. And it's been in my family for generations. And all of the cousins and all of the family would go there on summer trips and we'd swim in the lake and we'd catch fish and cook the fish for dinner over the fire. And it's just like, you know, that's the feeling. And that's part of where my inspiration comes from. And designing spaces that are inspired by Earth's palette and pace is like my my go-to place, if I could go anywhere, is on a lake in Michigan. I'll tell you right now, I don't want to live there because I don't like humidity and I don't like bugs and I don't like snakes. But nonetheless, it's the memories and the feeling of connection and um and just joy and ease and relaxation that that space created for me that I try to replicate for, you know, in my own life, in my own home. And so finding what that is for my clients is where I begin.

Lyssia Katan 23:35

Is

Crete, Familiarity, And Belonging

Lyssia Katan 23:36

there a space that has changed you for who you are today? It could be past, it could be present, but a space that really could have been a space that you grew up in or something that took your breath away.

Dr. Esther Sternberg 23:47

The Greece experience. There's no question. Um, that being in Lentos in that tiny village on the island of Crete really, really changed me. And it made me realize that that lifestyle, that uh connection with nature, connection with the rhythms of the seasons and the sun, the connection with the others in the village. And the way one of the things about that village is you you couldn't drive, the streets are too narrow, so you you have to walk. And uh and then you swim every day and uh these spaces to meditate. I mean, there's there's no question that that changed me. You know, in thinking about it, and I've talked to my my neighbors, the Papa Vasilius, who with whom I went there, um about this, and uh I said, you know, it's a little strange that that you just immediately asked me to go to Crete and you didn't know me, and I immediately said yes. But what I realized in retrospect is that it's because they reminded me of my parents that they came with European accents. They came with the same food that my my mother made. So there was a familiarity there. And and being in in Crete, in Greece, immediately I felt at home because it reminded me of the way I was brought up by my European parents.

Lyssia Katan 25:18

I love

Why These Talks Aren’t About Design

Lyssia Katan 25:19

these conversations because they're not really about design at all. They're about us, the homes we come from, the ones we're building now, and the feeling we're always trying to get back to. Thank you so much for spending this time with me on Room to Think. If you enjoyed this episode, feel free to follow the show, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who you think would really appreciate a more thoughtful approach to their space. You can find more Design Meets Psychology insights on social, in our community, and definitely in upcoming episodes so you can build a better life by design. I'm so excited to share season two with you very soon. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you next time.